kraproom.com

OMG!!!
Posted by Tom @ June 17, 2000 10:39 AM PDT

THE OLSEN TWINS ARE GONNA BE ON THE CRUISE I'M GOING ON! ROFL! My dad actually discovered this. He visits the site to investigate any bad things I might be doing ... so I guess it's good that I didn't post about stealing $1000 from his bank account last week ... or stealing classified government information from his laptop ... or arranging the death of Princess Diana. Anyway, check out this website. Apparently they'll be doing activities with kids on the ship throughout the entire cruise. I'll be sure to get some pictures.

I'm Back ...
Posted by Tom @ July 2, 2000 11:27 PM PDT

I can't imagine all of your lives without me ... must've sucked. Anyway, the cruise wasn't how I expected it to be. Apparently Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen think they're big stars. I thought I would be able to get tons of pictures and autographs but I couldn't ... I only got one picture of myself and them (but it's a pretty good picture) and no autographs ... oh well ... it was a lot of fun harassing them. Europe was pretty interesting too ... lots of leet things like gypsies. Don't think this is my official post regarding my trip ... I need to get my pictures developed before I write about everything that happened ... because some things need pictures to explain. The post will probably be like 210398213 pages long so I'll start writing it now and post it when I get the pictures developed. I'm gonna try and get one of those "photo CDs" so I don't have to scan all the pictures.

I was holding up "kraproom.com" signs all over the place, especially to the Olsen twins and their entourage. Their bodyguard-type-guy said he was going to be visiting the site (he stole one of my signs so I'm sure he'll remember the URL). If you're someone else I met on the cruise (or a cousin) post in the forum under "Sail with the Stars" in the "General Discussion" section to let me know you visited the site.

I WILL POST THE DETAILED STORY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE - IT WILL BE LONG.

Cruise Pictures
Posted by Tom @ July 5, 2000 5:53 PM PDT

I got 'em back but for whatever reason the place I got them developed at wouldn't make a photo CD. Now I need to find a place to get them scanned ... so if you know me in real life IM me or mail me if you wanna be the lucky one to get to scan these pics. The picture of me with the Olsen twins isn't framed correctly! My damn cousin has bad aim or something. You can't even see my "Kraproom.com" sign ... but at least it has me with the twins ::sigh:: ... and you can tell I was holding some sort of paper.

"No, absolutely no kraproom.com!"
Posted by Tom @ July 6, 2000 09:24 PM PDT

This is my official post regarding my cruise on the Baltic with THE Olsen twins. I'd like to arrange all my these thoughts/events in chronological order but it's sorta hard to remember exactly what happened when. I wish I'd kept a journal of funny stuff while on the cruise because I'm sure I'll leave some stuff out. Anyway, I'll just be organizing this post into sections based on the topic instead of the date. All of the really good stuff is at the end but I think there is some somewhat interesting stuff in my descriptions of the European cities (especially anything with pictures). Please view all the pictures, I've made them relatively low quality so they should load quickly. I know this post is long but don't skip around, read one section, eat some delicious pretzels, then move on to the next.

Before the Cruise
Before the cruise we stayed in New York for a few days before flying to Stockholm, Sweden. But before we were in New York, we were at the airport in LA where I had an encounter with another funny/only-semi-famous celebrity. That celebrity was Matt Pinfield of MTV ... and I didn't really have much of an encounter with him ... I just saw him. When we were checking our bags and stuff he ran up to the counter ... did something that took like 5 seconds and ran away. He was literally running so it was sorta funny. Sadly, I didn't have my camera on me that early in the trip so I didn't get a picture.

New York was pretty dumb. I don't know why anyone would want to live in such a crowded, dirty city.

Stockholm, Sweden
This is where the cruise started and ended. Sweden is pretty nice and modern and there were some good-looking girls there. At the airport in Sweden I saw the funniest thing: view this first, then this, now a far away view so you can tell it's in an airport terminal. Weird, eh?

Tallinn, Estonia
Estonia is a thoroughly stupid country. It's filled with theiving gypsies and the like. I saw some pretty interesting graffiti though. One thing I saw (I wish I had a picture) was just a picture of a cartoony chicken head that said "Chikken" under it. It was funny because it was next to graffiti of anarchy signs and stuff that said something about there being no God (in poor English). There were a bunch of people there selling watches. The watches were either stolen or those ... fake designer watches. The people (gypsies, I think, but they were dressed like normal people) would come up to tourists and say "shopping?" and "money?" It was funny because those were the only two words they knew and they tried to convince you to buy the watch using only those words. As if when you just saw the watch you were thinking "Naw, I don't want a watch" ... but after they said "Shopping?" you were like "Shopping ... hmm ... Yeah! Shopping!"

St. Petersburg, Russia
St. Petersburg has a lot of cool old buildings and monuments and stuff ... but it's also really worn-down and dirty. There are tons of street vendors trying to sell stuff to tourists. There are only a few different things the street vendors sell and EVERY street vendor sells 'em. Nothing unique. All they sell is old soviet military hats, tee-shirts, stamps, coins from the soviet era, lacquer boxes, those dolls that have little-er dolls inside of them, and post cards. A lot of the vendors spoke English pretty well but they had the funniest accents. I'll teach you how to speak in a true Russian accent. Try this common phrase: "Four dolls, ten dollars." All you have to do is pronounce all of the O's as long O's (so "dolls" rhymes with "poles" or "holes", and so "dollars" sounds like "dole-ers"). When we were on this bus tour we would stop at certain locations of interest and, of course, the vendors would be there because they knew tourists passed through there. Once as we were getting off the bus a Russian vendor said the funniest thing ... he said "What about hats." That may not sound that funny to you right now but at the time it was pretty hilarious. It was funny because there were no other vendors around so its not like we were looking at something else and he's offering an alternative ("What about hats - as opposed to post cards"). He also said it with no expression in his voice, notice my lack of a question mark. Anyway, after that time, whenever we saw a vendor selling hats we'd say "What about hats." to them. They always got really excited and thought we were gonna buy hats. Ha. Also, once my perfected my Russian-street-vendor-accent whenever I passed by a vendor I would haggle with him while using my accent. Him: "Four dolls, ten dollars", me: "Eight doles, one doh-lar!" <- That is something I actually said and the vendor got first confused then mad ... I think he got mad because I was laughing.

Here are some pictures of gypsies. There were a lot of gypsies with babies on their backs, like this one. The babies always looked dead ... rather strange. There were also a lot of thieving child gypsies, like these two. My dad has a great picture of the one on the left reaching into some guy's bag. I'll try to get the picture and post it.

Helsinki, Finland
Finland is the "most online nation" according to OlsenTwins.com. And it's true. While I was there I saw quite a few cyber cafes. I even stopped by one which had free internet access and checked out this fine site. Nothing really interesting happened there though ... but it is a fairly modern and nice place. There's like no crime. All public transport is practically based on the honor system. Once you buy a ticket for these bus-trolly-car-type-things you can use it for any public transport for the next hour ... but the driver never even really checks if you have a ticket.

Visby, Gotland (Sweden)
This was the last stop on the cruise before going back to Stockholm. Gotland is an island owned by Sweden ... I didn't even get off the ship to see it. For whatever reason, the docks were full and we had to get to shore in "tenders" ... I don't know if your average person knows what that is (I didn't) ... but it's just lil ferry-like ships. Oh well.

Olsen Twins related stuff
I've explained this many times but I'll do it again. The Olsen twins were on the ship as part of this "Sail with the Stars" program. Apparently some crazy parents were willing to cough up something on the order of $500 to have their kids participate in activities with Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen. You would think that so few people would do that that it would actually be cool for the people that did ... as in it would be such a small group that they would actually get to know the twins. The truth is, there were a whole lot of kids that did it ... and the Olsen twins hardly participated in any activities. Most of the time the twins just stood and watched while the kids did weird dances led by a group of 4 (or so) large male dancers called, collectively, "Fantasy." One of these guys was named "Echo" and he, apparently, had the super-hero-like ability to speak in this weird way where he echo-ed what he just said. It was actually kinda cool and sounded like a computer-effect. Once while in this dining area (I wouldn't call it a cafeteria) we were talking to one of the other Fantasy members. His name was Todd. I asked him what his special power was (a reference to Echo having a special power). He didn't tell me his and, instead, asked me what mine was. I explained that I possessed super-human strength and then I asked for a picture with him. He actually agreed and made sure to put his arm over my shoulder, what a cutie.

Ok, I'll get back on track. On the first day of the cruise they had this private intro-party thing for the Sail with the Stars group. I tried to get in the front door by claiming I was part of the group but they asked my name (to check against the list of names of people who were in the group). I also tried claiming that I was "the star". Luckily, on that first day at least, they didn't have effective security and myself, my brother, and my cousin Ben snuck in the back to watch the intro thing. The official leader of all of the activities was some guy named "Big Mike" who, according to olsentwins.com, we "might know from MTV." Apparently he is some sort of announcer guy who says all that stuff like "Coming up nexxxttttt --- the Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears." So, if you have the special version of MTV where you see the announcer, you'd know him. During the intro party "Big Mike" came out in some sort of dragon-mascot costume. He is also a professional mascot, no joke, and does stuff for the WNBA and some professional football team that I didn't even know had a mascot. The Olsen twins brought a bunch of people with them, all of which were introduced at that party. They each brought their "best friend" ... one was incredibly hot and the other was somewhat hot. The reason "best friend" is in quotes is because I don't think they were their real friends. I never saw them talk. The Olsen twins also brought their brother, Trent, and their brother's friend, Spencer. When Spencer was introduced they said he was on TRL ... probably just requesting a video but throughout the entire cruise we referred to him as "the TRL guy." They also brought some cousin of theirs (a lil girl) and their younger sister. Their sister's name was "Lizzy" which sounds like a great name ... for a cartoon lizard. Lizzy looked exactly like the twins. I had heard that the Olsen twins live in Ventura county and I asked Lizzy (because she was actually easily accessible) and she said something like "no, Idaho" err something ... like little kids say when you're right but they try feebly to trick you ... so they might actually live very near me. More evidence of this is that the person you're supposed to contact to set up a Sail with the Stars thing (their manager er something) is in Westlake.

My first actual encounter with the twins was when I asked if I could get my picture taken with them. This was on like the second day of the cruise and they, along with their whole entourage (bodyguard, two best friends, their brother and his friend), were leaving the theater. I walked up to them and just asked "can I get a picture with you?" They looked around for confirmation and their bodyguard, Scott, said something like "it's up to you, girls." They agreed to the picture and stood on either side of me. I, without them noticing, pulled out a small sign I had made on a half-piece of paper which said "kraproom.com" and my cousin took the picture. Sadly the picture didn't turn out well, due to poor camera work ::sigh:: my sign was cut-off. Here is the original picture, and here is a picture I cropped to make look a bit nicer. After that picture was taken I stuck the sign in front of one of the twins and asked them to hold it for another picture. Both of the twins looked at it and confused-ly showed it to their bodyguard. Upon reading the sign the bodyguard exclaimed "NO, ABSOLUTELY NO KRAPROOM.COM" (hence the title of this post). They then claimed to be "in a hurry" and stormed off. At that time my cousin took this picture of me laughing as they walked away.

The next day as we were watching a fast and furious game of bingo from the balcony I saw Scott, the bodyguard, walk up to the desk on the lower level and buy a bingo card. I yelled "Hey!" and stuck my "kraproom.com" sign to the glass that served as a railing for the balcony. He looked up then looked back down ... but he kept looking up again and tried to make it look like he wasn't looking. Sorta funny. Since he never left the twins' side we knew they were down there playing bingo. This being the case, we made a plan to allow ourselves to catch them by surprise and take a picture. I stood on the staircase which faces the elevators they would use to get back to their room after the bingo game was over. When they came out I tried to take a picture but the camera wasn't wound-up (er whatever) so it didn't work. I was sorta confused for a second then I realized what was wrong but it was too late, they were already in the elevator. I ran up the stairs just basically to catch up to my brother and cousins who had already ran away. When we reached the floor above the floor which the Olsen twins were staying on we saw that the elevator they went in was on their floor (the elevators have lil digital displays that say what floor they're on). I went down a level and caught them just as they were walking out of the elevator and to their room. I held out my "kraproom.com" sign (so the camera could see it) and took this picture and boy did it turn out bad! Damn, you need natural sun light to get any sort of picture out of those damn Kodak disposable cameras. Here is the picture with the brightness and contrast raised so you can make out the twins. Anyway, after I took that horrible picture, I ran up the stairs and their bodyguard actually chased me! I didn't feel like trying to escape from him (because he'd catch me easily) so I stopped and turned toward him. He got really mad and took my "kraproom.com" sign and said "I'll keep this as a souvenir." He also threatened to take my film. When making my new "kraproom.com" sign I wrote a note on the back saying that I'll take legal action for two counts of theft (in case he stole my second sign, which he didn't).

Fun with Signs
The signs I'm referring to aren't my "kraproom.com" signs. They're the signs used by the Sail with the Stars people to indicate that an area of the ship was "reserved" for their private activities. These signs (there were lots) were either on metal boards with magnetic letters or boards with slots in them with letters with things sticking out the back (to go in the slots). The first time we changed a sign we changed it very slightly and without a lot of thought put into the change: before and after.

We thought this was so fun that we brainstormed for a while about all the funny things you could spell by rearranging "RESERVED FOR SAIL WITH THE STARS." The first time we changed it (before we brainstormed ... see above) the sign was easy to change. There was a lot of room between the sign and the group and the change was minor. When we changed a sign for the second time it was under different circumstances. The last sign was the magnetic type so the letters could be arranged more quickly because you didnt have to pull them out ... only slide them along the board. The second time it was the "slot-type" of board. The sign was also in-doors and near the elevators so there were more people around. We decided it would be best to take the sign elsewhere, change it, then return it. So we did just that. We took it outside, changed it, and waited outside for a time when no one was around (on the inside) so we could return it. After we returned it we only got one picture of the returned sign because we were in such a rush to get out of there. We returned back to the sign a few minutes later and someone had scrambled it ... they obviously found it to be offensive >;P ... but I think it's just funny - before changes, me holding the changed sign while outside, the sign after being returned (hard to read).

The next time I tried to change a sign I got caught. It was in the same place as it was when we changed it to "sail with the ass" (see above). I was trying to change it when some middle aged guy came up to me and said "Put that back the way it was." He said it in that voice where people try to be intimidating by acting like they aren't "losing their cool" ... like that calm voice that startles you because you were expecting someone to scream at you. I wasn't finished changing it so I continued until I was done, even though he had already caught me. I changed it to say "WE EAT HORSES" (keep in mind the limited possiblities with just the letters that were already there). Being it that there is nothing terribly offensive about "WE EAT HORSES" I said (to the old guy) "But isn't that funny?" He responded "No it's not. Are you part of our group? (referring to Sail with the Stars)" I said no and he asked me to "put it back the way it was" and he called over an Indonesian crew member (they were all Indonesian). He told the crew member to "make sure he puts it back the way it was." I started to change it and the old guy walked away ... but for some reason the Indonesian guy started fixing it (instead of supervising me) so I just walked away and he fixed it.

On the last day of the cruise we noticed this sign that said "RESERVED FOR Q&A; SESSION." There was no one around so we took it down and started thinking of stuff to change it to. After converting the R to a P by ripping off one of it's "legs" this is what we made: my brother and cousin holding the sign. We then put the sign at the entrance to the movie theater and went up to the "disco" thing. My other cousin was there and he wanted to see the sign so we went down and smuggled it up to the "disco." While we were there he took a picture with it and the girl sitting next to him posed for the picture too, even though she didn't know what the sign said. After she saw the sign she got mad ... and she's probably reading this right now. Hi.

Misc. Pictures
Here's a picture of me with the captain: pic
Here's a picture of a sign that was not meant to be seen. It was on the inside of this cabinet (that was supposed to be locked) containing a bunch of cards: pic
Here's a picture of my Aunt and Uncle arguing with the organizers of the Sail with the Stars program (not that interesting): pic

The End
Ahh ... damn that was long. I bet you didn't read it all. You bastard. Read it. Anyways ... I'm tired right now and I don't feel like re-reading it before posting ... so it probably has a bunch of errors ... I'll correct 'em later. Post comments under "Sail with the Stars" in the "General Discussion" section of the forums ... I'd like to see more activity in those damn forums.

Ack, I forgot something.
Posted by Tom @ July 6, 2000 10:25 PM PDT

I forgot a somewhat major event that should've gone in my last post. It would fit best between the third and forth paragraphs of the "Olsen Twins related stuff" section. If you haven't read my previous post, read it first.

After I had my picture taken ... but before the bodyguard stole my "kraproom.com" sign, I talked to the Olsen twins in the ship's "disco." I think the part about my sign getting stolen and me saying "Hey!" and showing him the sign were like ... a day later than I thought they were. I don't really remember. Anyway, the Olsen twins and their entourage were sitting in the "disco" just talking er whatever and I walked up right behind the couch they were sitting on and asking them if they would hold the "kraproom.com" sign and let me take a picture (this would be my second time asking). Again they said no and gave the reason that they "don't do free endorsements." I tried to convince them it wasn't really an endorsement, just a picture for myself. They kept saying no and accusing me of planning on using it to advertise my site (pshh!). I argued with them for a little while longer by just repeatedly asking them "Why not??" (all their friends were watching and stuff ... kinda funny). Eventually their bodyguard stood up and took me aside and said the same things they did ... that they don't do free advertising. He said "You know how it is. Everyone wants their endorsement these days." I responded "Yeah, I know what it's like ... being a big star myself." He said "Yeah" and rolled his eyes. What a jerk. I starred in such hits as "Three Ninjas" and "Three Ninjas II."

More Olsen Twins Stuff
Posted by Tom @ July 13, 2000 02:23 AM PDT

Yep, sorry. While browsing the pics section at olsentwins.com I found some leet stuff. First off, I found old pics of the Olsen twins' hot friend whom I mentioned in my original Olsen twins post. They were from some event in Hawaii that occurred some time ago.
- the only pic of her from my own pics
- old pics of her from olsentwins.com
I also found some pics of other people I mentioned in that post:
- Big Mike
- Scott, the bodyguard
- "Echo" ... the guy that echoes
Sadly, my original post has been displaced from the main page by all this Pollution2k nonsense. If you wanna read about who these people are go to the bottom of this page and search for "Olsen."

UFO Almost took over Tom on his trip!
Posted by michael @ July 14, 2000 11:38 AM PDT

As I was looking at more of the picture's that Tom posted about his cruise with the Olsen Twins I found that in one picture you can see a UFO in the background. Check out the picture of their bodyguard, and look out the window behind him (the one on the left). your lucky Tom, they didn't get you.

Picture

Real Life Recognition!
Posted by Tom @ July 28, 2000 10:50 PM PDT

Today when I was driving home from Costco some girls in another car recognized me! I was driving on the freeway and noticed some commotion in the car to my left. I didn't really pay attention because I figured it wasn't directed at me ... but then my pal Rusty tapped my shoulder so I looked out the window and the chick yelled "You met the Olsen twins!!!" I responded with a very enthusiastic "Yeah!!!" ... and the cars drifted apart. Next time anyone recognizes me in real life I'd prefer if they would look to Sharram ("Shadam") as an example and yell "MONK-E-GOD!!! FADERZ!!! KRAPROOM.COM!!!"

"OH NO!!! My girlfriend is fine!!!"
Posted by michael @ November 2, 2000 07:05 PM PST

That's right, according to (aim)"KappaPerfects84" his girlfriend has pictures all over kraproom dot com and he ain't gonna take that shit. According to him, Tom snapped a bunch of pics of her on his olsentwins cruise. To check out his super hot chick :-x click here, she is the one with all the hearts on her. Oh yeah, forgot about the ASS shot, click here my friends. And if you wanna see how this big badass boyfriend treated me (oh yeah, he treatened to kill terry) check out the convo.

ps. sorry, your gf just is a hotty, geez, don't get all butt-hurt.